you are now one day closer to eating your next plate of nachos
This is the most hopeful thing I’ve ever read.
what if I die tomorrow and never eat any nachos
then tomorrow is nacho lucky day
once my sister was eating pop rocks on my bed and spilled some but forgot to clean it up and apparently some pop rocks got on my pillow bc in the middle of the night i happened to drool and i swear to fucking god there is nothing more terrifying than having pop rocks exploding all up in your face when you are asleep
I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do.
the day i get married, i am going to plant a pear tree, and after the tree starts producing, i’m going to put my arm around my husband, hold up one of the pears and say “we make a great pear”
i need to get a job this summer who wants to hire me to walk around your house dressed in a little maids outfit i wont clean but ill bend over a lot and stuff
my favorite thing is when the ah lads just randomly break into song
so do you think if Gavin made a sex tape it would be in slow mo?